








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Wingman | 68 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3223 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,916 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3878 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2897 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1880 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2261 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $359,253 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | prex- | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | Targetz | 60% | 53 |
| #3 | birren | 57% | 123 |
| #4 | Symmol | 56% | 79 |
| #5 | s00n | 56% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | szasz #roadto10k | 54% | 91 |
| #9 | Tobi | 53% | 43 |
| #10 | Neko | 49% | 114 |
| #11 | Holyskit | 47% | 53 |
| #12 | taapir | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Symmol | 10 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | birren | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Jerry Jr | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | szasz #roadto10k | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Targetz | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | birren | 481 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #2 | Symmol | 298 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | Holyskit | 197 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | Tobi | 141 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | Neko | 107 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neko | +2.57 | 90 | 45 |
| #2 | birren | +1.97 | 90 | 71 |
| #3 | DeuCe X_x | +1.97 | 79 | 67 |
| #4 | Symmol | +0.94 | 72 | 76 |
| #5 | gordino | +0.61 | 92 | 55 |





