








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 328 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 120 matches | ||
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Faceit | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4992 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,535 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2246 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1275 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 2527 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2487 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,379,434 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 166 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | gordino | 59% | 29 |
| #8 | Jerry Jr | 57% | 181 |
| #9 | birren | 56% | 156 |
| #10 | szasz #roadto10k | 53% | 47 |
| #11 | DeuCe X_x | 49% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carty | 9 | 0.0140 |
| #2 | birren | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Jerry Jr | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | DeuCe X_x | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Targetz | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | birren | 673 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #2 | Holyskit | 353 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | DeuCe X_x | 309 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #4 | Targetz | 203 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | prex- | 201 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neko | +4.37 | 91 | 54 |
| #2 | birren | +1.05 | 90 | 71 |
| #3 | DeuCe X_x | +0.81 | 79 | 61 |
| #4 | Targetz | +0.68 | 85 | 61 |
| #5 | Carty | +0.63 | 76 | 28 |





