








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1532 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 775 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 109 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9012 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 46,339 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12642 | 27% |
| Smokes | 10237 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 12763 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 10697 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,664,456 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 452 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | James | 56% | 156 |
| #2 | DeuCe X_x | 56% | 79 |
| #3 | Louis | 54% | 57 |
| #4 | U9602 | 54% | 166 |
| #5 | Dakillzor for President | 51% | 175 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Hepha | 50% | 155 |
| #8 | s00n | 49% | 218 |
| #9 | Tobi | 49% | 68 |
| #10 | bigger brain than you | 48% | 342 |
| #11 | szasz #roadto10k | 45% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | U9602 | 19 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Hepha | 11 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | bigger brain than you | 10 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | TFBC | 10 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Dakillzor for President | 7 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s00n | 645 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #2 | Dakillzor for President | 618 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #3 | bigger brain than you | 587 | 0.08 | 15 min |
| #4 | TFBC | 567 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #5 | DeuCe X_x | 362 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeuCe X_x | +3.39 | 82 | 69 |
| #2 | James | +2.49 | 90 | 55 |
| #3 | Hepha | +1.95 | 69 | 56 |
| #4 | Louis | +1.07 | 83 | 61 |
| #5 | Symmol | +0.67 | 77 | 75 |





