








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 393 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2123 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,068 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1317 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1413 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 832 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1506 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $414,134 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 200 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WyLdxNoVa | 100% | 8 |
| #2 | CAJUN | 82% | 34 |
| #3 | hambooga | 80% | 15 |
| #4 | Not Pol0 | 75% | 12 |
| #5 | Drop | 73% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | hambooga | 80% | 15 |
| #4 | Not Pol0 | 75% | 12 |
| #5 | Drop | 73% | 33 |
| #6 | grape | 70% | 10 |
| #7 | Voilà | 63% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voilà | 10 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Drop | 9 | 0.0135 |
| #3 | CAJUN | 6 | 0.0087 |
| #4 | hambooga | 3 | 0.0107 |
| #5 | Not Pol0 | 2 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voilà | 453 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #2 | CAJUN | 163 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #3 | Drop | 90 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Not Pol0 | 66 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | hambooga | 41 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WyLdxNoVa | +4.43 | 86 | 80 |
| #2 | Voilà | +3.23 | 90 | 59 |
| #3 | Prin | +2.89 | 88 | 59 |
| #4 | hambooga | +2.57 | 87 | 62 |
| #5 | Not Pol0 | +1.89 | 87 | 69 |





