








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Agency | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1155 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,754 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2072 | 44% |
| Smokes | 1339 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 351 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 992 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $229,024 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | athes | 48% | 126 |
| #8 | elq | 45% | 128 |
| #9 | trax | 45% | 58 |
| #10 | Mikk3 | 43% | 46 |
| #11 | Lar3z ツ | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jnu | 25 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | athes | 9 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Mikk3 | 6 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | Mikael Jarkkoniemi | 6 | 0.0096 |
| #5 | esa | 5 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | elq | 323 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | Jnu | 275 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | athes | 239 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Mikael Jarkkoniemi | 124 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | trax | 117 | 0.10 | 3 min |





