








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 318 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




87 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4784 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,740 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2283 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1514 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1501 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1442 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,970,408 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 315 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | timppati | 46% | 72 |
| #8 | Mikael Jarkkoniemi | 43% | 98 |
| #9 | elq | 43% | 338 |
| #10 | Lar3z ツ | 39% | 31 |
| #11 | Mikk3 | 39% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | athes | 43 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | Mikk3 | 24 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | esa | 20 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | elq | 18 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Mikael Jarkkoniemi | 17 | 0.0088 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | elq | 834 | 0.12 | 22 min |
| #2 | athes | 774 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #3 | TaalaSeppo | 591 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #4 | Mikk3 | 490 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #5 | trax | 386 | 0.14 | 11 min |





