








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 54 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
223 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 787 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 221 | 28% |
| Smokes | 166 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 235 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 165 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $67,500 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | temu cart got me boyvulating | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Zeeerup | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Furina Protector | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | beans | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | Rae | 56% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Ash | 29% | 7 |
| #12 | GafTape | 25% | 4 |
| #13 | Summer | 22% | 9 |
| #14 | Girth Brooks | 0% | 2 |
| #15 | Piss | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Summer | 39 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #2 | Zeeerup | 29 | 0.42 | 1 min |
| #3 | HinkieBall | 16 | 0.24 | 0 min |
| #4 | Rae | 15 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | Aimer | 11 | 0.34 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HinkieBall | +4.59 | 89 | 53 |
| #2 | temu cart got me boyvulating | +2.53 | 76 | 66 |
| #3 | Zeeerup | +2.30 | 58 | 58 |
| #4 | Ash | +1.99 | 54 | 53 |
| #5 | beans | +1.92 | 60 | 53 |





