








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 331 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 265 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4281 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,855 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1365 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1642 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2474 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1374 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,405,625 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 439 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NaPi | 58% | 126 |
| #2 | Dav | 57% | 91 |
| #3 | NapiSimp | 51% | 204 |
| #4 | karapnaran | 51% | 67 |
| #5 | Gav | 47% | 167 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | NapiSimp | 51% | 204 |
| #4 | karapnaran | 51% | 67 |
| #5 | Gav | 47% | 167 |
| #6 | Ghost of Stepanakert | 36% | 22 |
| #7 | Սերկ.evil | 31% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NapiSimp | 17 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Gav | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Dav | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | NaPi | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | karapnaran | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dav | 376 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #2 | NaPi | 323 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | Gav | 321 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | NapiSimp | 85 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #5 | karapnaran | 69 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raf mid enjoyer | +2.95 | 83 | 51 |
| #2 | NaPi | +1.13 | 65 | 60 |
| #3 | Dav | -0.46 | 58 | 70 |
| #4 | Gav | -0.63 | 42 | 50 |
| #5 | NapiSimp | -0.93 | 59 | 36 |





