








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
631 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,503 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 217 | 14% |
| Smokes | 494 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 551 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 241 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $420,627 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ɐuu∀ | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | Raf mid enjoyer | 51% | 67 |
| #3 | Xumbik | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | Dav | 50% | 36 |
| #5 | NapiSimp | 48% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gav | 6 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | NapiSimp | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Raf mid enjoyer | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Dav | 4 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dav | 134 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | Gav | 93 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Raf mid enjoyer | 81 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | NapiSimp | 33 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | ɐuu∀ | 20 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xumbik | +5.08 | 83 | 45 |
| #2 | Raf mid enjoyer | +4.08 | 84 | 52 |
| #3 | ǝldɹnԀ | +1.51 | 67 | 49 |
| #4 | NaPi | +0.14 | 67 | 32 |
| #5 | Gav | +0.07 | 37 | 52 |





