








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 331 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 365 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3738 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,224 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2413 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3568 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3091 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4152 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,229,362 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 164 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NaPi | 54% | 91 |
| #2 | Dav | 53% | 89 |
| #3 | ɐuu∀ | 53% | 40 |
| #4 | NapiSimp | 50% | 137 |
| #5 | karapnaran | 47% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ɐuu∀ | 53% | 40 |
| #4 | NapiSimp | 50% | 137 |
| #5 | karapnaran | 47% | 51 |
| #6 | Raf mid enjoyer | 47% | 167 |
| #7 | Սերկ.evil | 33% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NapiSimp | 13 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Raf mid enjoyer | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Dav | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | NaPi | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | ɐuu∀ | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dav | 386 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #2 | Raf mid enjoyer | 217 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | NaPi | 207 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | NapiSimp | 53 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | ɐuu∀ | 49 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raf mid enjoyer | +2.80 | 82 | 50 |
| #2 | NaPi | +1.17 | 67 | 60 |
| #3 | Gav | +0.37 | 48 | 51 |
| #4 | NapiSimp | -0.44 | 62 | 34 |
| #5 | Dav | -0.90 | 51 | 69 |





