








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
450 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,207 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 780 | 35% |
| Smokes | 605 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 606 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 216 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $93,758 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tbrry | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | gK- | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | Birb | 71% | 28 |
| #4 | Browniee | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | JonathaN | 57% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Scotty | 50% | 8 |
| #8 | Crixon | 49% | 59 |
| #9 | dash 𓀃 | 38% | 16 |
| #10 | fraxiom stan | 33% | 6 |
| #11 | Misha | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crixon | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Scotty | 4 | 0.0286 |
| #3 | Birb | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | tbrry | 2 | 0.0267 |
| #5 | JonathaN | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crixon | 219 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | Birb | 189 | 0.32 | 5 min |
| #3 | C♡daK | 115 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | JonathaN | 105 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #5 | Scotty | 52 | 0.37 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gK- | +6.56 | 94 | 52 |
| #2 | tbrry | +5.51 | 95 | 54 |
| #3 | C♡daK | +3.35 | 86 | 67 |
| #4 | JonathaN | +3.28 | 76 | 78 |
| #5 | dash 𓀃 | +1.79 | 89 | 40 |





