








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1893 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,119 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 661 | 21% |
| Smokes | 852 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 481 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1125 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $317,948 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 189 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hambooga | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | cutedog | 71% | 129 |
| #3 | mira | 70% | 23 |
| #4 | wealthy | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | SHINRA TENSEI | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hambooga | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | cutedog | 71% | 129 |
| #3 | mira | 70% | 23 |
| #4 | wealthy | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | SHINRA TENSEI | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cutedog | 19 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | hambooga | 3 | 0.0113 |
| #3 | mira | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cutedog | 569 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #2 | mira | 95 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #3 | wealthy | 58 | 0.32 | 1 min |
| #4 | hambooga | 47 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | SHINRA TENSEI | 27 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cutedog | +4.94 | 90 | 65 |
| #2 | hambooga | +4.58 | 94 | 52 |
| #3 | ayvel | +2.27 | 87 | 42 |
| #4 | SHINRA TENSEI | +2.19 | 86 | 53 |
| #5 | mira | +1.58 | 86 | 67 |





