








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 43 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 207 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1734 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,584 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 680 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1728 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1731 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1445 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,185,067 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lutzman Swanz | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | LuckerKeks | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | Gurke | 61% | 18 |
| #4 | Syxgott | 60% | 48 |
| #5 | Hexenfutter | 44% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hängehodN | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | GandalfTheSpray | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | CarryPotter | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Syxgott | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | M011i | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hängehodN | 353 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | Syxgott | 162 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | GandalfTheSpray | 129 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | CarryPotter | 129 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | LuckerKeks | 84 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LuckerKeks | +5.06 | 58 | 73 |
| #2 | Lutzman Swanz | +4.82 | 74 | 69 |
| #3 | Syxgott | +2.59 | 54 | 68 |
| #4 | M011i | +1.27 | 80 | 55 |
| #5 | zON4s | +1.19 | 56 | 66 |





