








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 301 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 461 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3730 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,885 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3418 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3171 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 5157 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 6139 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,403,064 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | LordChew | 44% | 52 |
| #18 | ScareD. | 42% | 121 |
| #19 | gauNN | 42% | 36 |
| #20 | fuNy# | 38% | 37 |
| #21 | sQuare | 24% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReY | 20 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Crynoore | 17 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Sebi | 16 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | ScareD. | 14 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | NOOB | 14 | 0.0087 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P1ti-IWNL | 1018 | 0.17 | 27 min |
| #2 | ReY | 779 | 0.11 | 20 min |
| #3 | rellüM | 562 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #4 | ScareD. | 512 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #5 | HAGRID | 508 | 0.16 | 14 min |





