








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 548 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 419 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3349 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,357 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1932 | 14% |
| Smokes | 4558 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3915 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2952 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $570,873 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 334 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BóbbíChúlló | 59% | 27 |
| #2 | Henso_o | 51% | 383 |
| #3 | [AA] Walter | 49% | 59 |
| #4 | B33R | 48% | 25 |
| #5 | ✪ $imon | 46% | 212 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Henso_o | 25 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | ✪ $imon | 11 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | vettski | 8 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | BLAZE | 8 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | [AA] Walter | 4 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Henso_o | 725 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #2 | ✪ $imon | 444 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #3 | vettski | 151 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | BóbbíChúlló | 98 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | BLAZE | 59 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vettski | +3.60 | 72 | 46 |
| #2 | Mr.Cookie | +1.87 | 42 | 46 |
| #3 | ✪ $imon | -0.29 | 18 | 55 |
| #4 | B33R | -0.48 | 7 | 48 |
| #5 | BLAZE | -0.62 | 28 | 40 |





