








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1494 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 2154 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 122 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




102 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
16139 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 52,252 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16075 | 31% |
| Smokes | 10232 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 17840 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 8105 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $7,898,560 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 676 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Cookie | 46% | 212 |
| #2 | Henso_o | 44% | 702 |
| #3 | ZUCK SAN | 42% | 200 |
| #4 | [AA] Walter | 42% | 334 |
| #5 | BóbbíChúlló | 42% | 149 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ZUCK SAN | 42% | 200 |
| #4 | [AA] Walter | 42% | 334 |
| #5 | BóbbíChúlló | 42% | 149 |
| #6 | vettski | 42% | 745 |
| #7 | BLAZE | 40% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vettski | 74 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Henso_o | 63 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | ZUCK SAN | 44 | 0.0103 |
| #4 | BLAZE | 28 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | [AA] Walter | 18 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vettski | 1683 | 0.11 | 35 min |
| #2 | Henso_o | 1248 | 0.09 | 24 min |
| #3 | ZUCK SAN | 624 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #4 | BóbbíChúlló | 558 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #5 | BLAZE | 314 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vettski | +3.00 | 71 | 46 |
| #2 | Mr.Cookie | +1.68 | 41 | 50 |
| #3 | BLAZE | -0.03 | 35 | 38 |
| #4 | ZUCK SAN | -0.25 | 20 | 57 |
| #5 | ✪ $imon | -0.34 | 21 | 55 |





