








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 891 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 993 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6844 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 52,272 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14809 | 28% |
| Smokes | 11662 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 15019 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 10782 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,180,406 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 299 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LONG ONIONS! | 59% | 66 |
| #2 | [AA] Bobby Olsen | 49% | 111 |
| #3 | m0L3stR | 48% | 102 |
| #4 | Totty | 47% | 55 |
| #5 | KingWraithDK | 47% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | [AA] Pim de Keysergracht | 43% | 116 |
| #8 | ✪ $imon | 42% | 149 |
| #9 | [AA] Walter | 40% | 157 |
| #10 | Henso_o | 40% | 251 |
| #11 | ♛ J O K E R ♛ | 29% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [AA] Pim de Keysergracht | 24 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | Henso_o | 18 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | 420 DK | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | [AA] Walter | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | [AA] Bobby Olsen | 7 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 420 DK | 425 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | Henso_o | 419 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | Totty | 306 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #4 | ✪ $imon | 287 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | [AA] Bobby Olsen | 152 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Totty | +4.43 | 61 | 69 |
| #2 | LONG ONIONS! | +1.41 | 35 | 43 |
| #3 | [AA] Bobby Olsen | +0.79 | 33 | 42 |
| #4 | 420 DK | +0.67 | 37 | 55 |
| #5 | ✪ $imon | +0.52 | 27 | 56 |





