








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 155 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1750 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,397 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1246 | 37% |
| Smokes | 566 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1000 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 585 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $423,233 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Pandalicious | 60% | 20 |
| #5 | Azrail | 58% | 101 |
| #6 | ✪ 𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙪𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙋𝙭𝙥𝙞 | 58% | 26 |
| #7 | SkriptKitty | 55% | 87 |
| #8 | Dirtbag | 54% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Azrail | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | SkriptKitty | 7 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | b a t e s | 3 | 0.0154 |
| #4 | Dirtbag | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | ✪ 𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙪𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙋𝙭𝙥𝙞 | 2 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SkriptKitty | 356 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | Azrail | 325 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | Dirtbag | 81 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | ✪ 𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙪𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙋𝙭𝙥𝙞 | 39 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | b a t e s | 27 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b a t e s | +7.21 | 80 | 56 |
| #2 | ✪ 𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙪𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙋𝙭𝙥𝙞 | +5.79 | 68 | 61 |
| #3 | finn | +4.69 | 71 | 56 |
| #4 | s3n | +3.07 | 59 | 68 |
| #5 | Azrail | +0.86 | 60 | 42 |





