








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1508 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 131 matches | ||
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7612 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,174 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5501 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4473 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3677 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4523 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,401,208 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1185 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CheesyBurger. | 62% | 79 |
| #2 | lunch | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | Hypno-Toad | 58% | 48 |
| #4 | 101xthatguyx101 | 57% | 35 |
| #5 | cAveRn CrawlA | 57% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cAveRn CrawlA | 42 | 0.0168 |
| #2 | Dirtbag | 26 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Pandalicious | 14 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | ✪ Crowley ✪ | 10 | 0.0111 |
| #5 | CheesyBurger. | 8 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dirtbag | 609 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #2 | CheesyBurger. | 420 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #3 | Hypno-Toad | 285 | 0.29 | 7 min |
| #4 | lunch | 275 | 0.43 | 5 min |
| #5 | cAveRn CrawlA | 254 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ 𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙪𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙋𝙭𝙥𝙞 | +4.23 | 73 | 61 |
| #2 | lunch | +4.05 | 72 | 59 |
| #3 | 101xthatguyx101 | +3.13 | 78 | 73 |
| #4 | Hypno-Toad | +3.00 | 78 | 66 |
| #5 | ✪ Crowley ✪ | +2.72 | 56 | 60 |





