








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 585 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2740 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,015 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 218 | 11% |
| Smokes | 354 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 693 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 750 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $263,407 of utility $31 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 825 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cAveRn CrawlA | 45 | 0.0175 |
| #2 | ✪ 𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙪𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙋𝙭𝙥𝙞 | 30 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Dirtbag | 23 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | CheesyBurger. | 10 | 0.0079 |
| #5 | DjCj | 8 | 0.0112 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dirtbag | 608 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #2 | ✪ 𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙪𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙋𝙭𝙥𝙞 | 554 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #3 | CheesyBurger. | 324 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #4 | cAveRn CrawlA | 275 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | Hypno-Toad | 240 | 0.32 | 6 min |





