










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2409 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,454 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2228 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3247 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2702 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2277 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $746,999 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 254 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | deCØY | 56% | 127 |
| #7 | Jascha | 55% | 128 |
| #8 | Terence Dill | 50% | 24 |
| #9 | MoMan ♛ | 47% | 43 |
| #10 | Gibby the boat boy | 45% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deCØY | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Jascha | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | MischiMieze | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Obdachlos | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Gibby the boat boy | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deCØY | 497 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #2 | Jascha | 223 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | Obdachlos | 131 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | KarlseN | 89 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | StaN | 62 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kuro | +1.92 | 74 | 69 |
| #2 | KarlseN | +1.37 | 82 | 68 |
| #3 | Obdachlos | +1.03 | 79 | 74 |
| #4 | Jascha | +0.69 | 63 | 64 |
| #5 | StaN | -0.13 | 54 | 64 |





