








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 725 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 549 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 125 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5579 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,126 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2851 | 16% |
| Smokes | 5171 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4421 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5683 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,987,711 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 113 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kuro | 55% | 128 |
| #2 | dtxcl | 53% | 244 |
| #3 | MoMan ♛ | 50% | 271 |
| #4 | deCØY | 49% | 368 |
| #5 | Gibby the boat boy | 48% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | dtxcl | 53% | 244 |
| #3 | MoMan ♛ | 50% | 271 |
| #4 | deCØY | 49% | 368 |
| #5 | Gibby the boat boy | 48% | 147 |
| #6 | Ph[E]noM | 47% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deCØY | 12 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Kuro | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | dtxcl | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | MoMan ♛ | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Ph[E]noM | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deCØY | 1361 | 0.17 | 32 min |
| #2 | Ph[E]noM | 609 | 0.32 | 20 min |
| #3 | dtxcl | 567 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #4 | MoMan ♛ | 296 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #5 | Kuro | 285 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dtxcl | +2.31 | 71 | 66 |
| #2 | Ph[E]noM | +1.68 | 73 | 83 |
| #3 | Kuro | +1.65 | 73 | 70 |
| #4 | Jascha | +0.54 | 66 | 64 |
| #5 | MoMan ♛ | -0.90 | 75 | 57 |





