










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 248 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2871 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,369 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1206 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2210 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2283 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1670 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,159,610 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 114 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dtxcl | 56% | 169 |
| #2 | deCØY | 51% | 155 |
| #3 | Jascha | 50% | 271 |
| #4 | Ph[E]noM | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | Gibby the boat boy | 48% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | deCØY | 51% | 155 |
| #3 | Jascha | 50% | 271 |
| #4 | Ph[E]noM | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | Gibby the boat boy | 48% | 84 |
| #6 | Kuro | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jascha | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | deCØY | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | dtxcl | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Kuro | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Gibby the boat boy | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deCØY | 531 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | dtxcl | 428 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #3 | Jascha | 332 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #4 | Ph[E]noM | 173 | 0.35 | 6 min |
| #5 | Kuro | 98 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ph[E]noM | +3.37 | 73 | 86 |
| #2 | dtxcl | +2.25 | 71 | 67 |
| #3 | Jascha | +0.89 | 67 | 66 |
| #4 | Kuro | +0.73 | 72 | 70 |
| #5 | deCØY | -0.60 | 73 | 63 |





