










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
304 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,362 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 166 | 12% |
| Smokes | 348 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 512 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 336 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $303,745 of utility $264 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bling Bling | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | HARDM4N | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | Fabricckk | 48% | 31 |
| #4 | G0RD0 RE TET0N | 47% | 30 |
| #5 | Zcuti | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G0RD0 RE TET0N | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Fabricckk | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Fayris | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Ainz Ooal Gown | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | DiracDelta | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fayris | 68 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | G0RD0 RE TET0N | 44 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Fabricckk | 43 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | DiracDelta | 35 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ainz Ooal Gown | 24 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HARDM4N | +7.04 | 87 | 72 |
| #2 | Bling Bling | +5.21 | 67 | 72 |
| #3 | Hezztia | +1.72 | 43 | 49 |
| #4 | Zcuti | +1.69 | 23 | 51 |
| #5 | G0RD0 RE TET0N | +1.67 | 32 | 65 |





