








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 944 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2252 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,524 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1595 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1273 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1224 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1432 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $871,607 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 442 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bling Bling | 50% | 12 |
| #2 | DiracDelta | 46% | 87 |
| #3 | G0RD0 RE TET0N | 43% | 37 |
| #4 | Fabricckk | 42% | 120 |
| #5 | PAZTY | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Ainz Ooal Gown | 39% | 92 |
| #7 | Zcuti | 39% | 70 |
| #8 | Hezztia | 38% | 60 |
| #9 | BeelZirio | 33% | 12 |
| #10 | SrAdriany | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fabricckk | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Hezztia | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Ainz Ooal Gown | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | DiracDelta | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DiracDelta | 200 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | Fabricckk | 190 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Ainz Ooal Gown | 104 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Zcuti | 96 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | G0RD0 RE TET0N | 52 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bling Bling | +2.39 | 68 | 73 |
| #2 | DiracDelta | +2.05 | 64 | 59 |
| #3 | Fayris | +0.64 | 60 | 60 |
| #4 | Hezztia | +0.48 | 50 | 55 |
| #5 | G0RD0 RE TET0N | -0.07 | 44 | 67 |





