








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1039 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 98 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2859 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,390 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3755 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3479 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1243 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1913 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $406,952 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 260 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boonie Bandit Barry | 69% | 36 |
| #2 | Need therapy FAST | 65% | 92 |
| #3 | Coadbreaker | 63% | 16 |
| #4 | Don't mate | 61% | 46 |
| #5 | Alex | 60% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Alex | 60% | 116 |
| #6 | 彼らがより暗い色を発 | 56% | 112 |
| #7 | WeanXD | 54% | 97 |
| #8 | v1ggo | 52% | 31 |
| #9 | Donald J Trump | 46% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Need therapy FAST | 17 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | Boonie Bandit Barry | 8 | 0.0117 |
| #3 | 彼らがより暗い色を発 | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Alex | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | WeanXD | 4 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 彼らがより暗い色を発 | 227 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | Alex | 154 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | Need therapy FAST | 130 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Don't mate | 129 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Boonie Bandit Barry | 101 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | v1ggo | +4.53 | 83 | 50 |
| #2 | pxaVXR7WyrqlaqFJl3fA | +4.28 | 73 | 69 |
| #3 | Boonie Bandit Barry | +3.62 | 86 | 63 |
| #4 | Need therapy FAST | -0.24 | 45 | 33 |
| #5 | Don't mate | -0.64 | 73 | 61 |





