








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 358 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
662 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,580 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 230 | 15% |
| Smokes | 531 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 397 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 422 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $427,000 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boonie Bandit Barry | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | Coadbreaker | 58% | 36 |
| #3 | pxaVXR7WyrqlaqFJl3fA | 54% | 97 |
| #4 | Need therapy FAST | 52% | 69 |
| #5 | Alex | 49% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | pxaVXR7WyrqlaqFJl3fA | 54% | 97 |
| #4 | Need therapy FAST | 52% | 69 |
| #5 | Alex | 49% | 82 |
| #6 | 彼らがより暗い色を発 | 43% | 84 |
| #7 | Donald J Trump | 30% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Need therapy FAST | 10 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | 彼らがより暗い色を発 | 9 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | Boonie Bandit Barry | 8 | 0.0169 |
| #4 | pxaVXR7WyrqlaqFJl3fA | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Alex | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pxaVXR7WyrqlaqFJl3fA | 336 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | 彼らがより暗い色を発 | 164 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Alex | 123 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Need therapy FAST | 66 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Boonie Bandit Barry | 62 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pxaVXR7WyrqlaqFJl3fA | +6.66 | 77 | 66 |
| #2 | Boonie Bandit Barry | +4.56 | 85 | 68 |
| #3 | Coadbreaker | +0.72 | 43 | 17 |
| #4 | Need therapy FAST | +0.59 | 52 | 35 |
| #5 | 彼らがより暗い色を発 | -0.42 | 34 | 57 |





