








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 343 matches | ||
| Faceit | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7176 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,305 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6748 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5030 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 7837 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4690 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,142,318 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1008 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alien Baby 2 | 57% | 44 |
| #2 | Sealiøusly | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | wu8fu | 54% | 202 |
| #4 | Archy | 54% | 84 |
| #5 | Leonardo Dab Vinci | 53% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | TheLastDon | 47% | 85 |
| #10 | kAppz | 46% | 80 |
| #11 | Don't Be Mad | 44% | 63 |
| #12 | 『𝕛𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕕』 | 42% | 48 |
| #13 | Demonsar | 39% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sealiøusly | 11 | 0.0172 |
| #2 | wu8fu | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Demonsar | 6 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | Archy | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | privallge | 4 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kAppz | 381 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #2 | TheLastDon | 348 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #3 | Archy | 339 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #4 | wu8fu | 289 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #5 | 『𝕛𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕕』 | 246 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Archy | +3.03 | 80 | 57 |
| #2 | wu8fu | +1.65 | 71 | 59 |
| #3 | Dr.Ace | +1.26 | 79 | 61 |
| #4 | kAppz | +0.45 | 36 | 80 |
| #5 | Demonsar | +0.08 | 29 | 44 |





