








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 152 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1587 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,531 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1656 | 30% |
| Smokes | 853 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1456 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1566 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $534,732 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 140 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PurPl3 | 46% | 152 |
| #2 | ✞ JUU ✞ | 45% | 20 |
| #3 | Iska | 41% | 68 |
| #4 | blu3 ONLY CRANE | 39% | 80 |
| #5 | PewPew Inna Babylon | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ✞ JUU ✞ | 45% | 20 |
| #3 | Iska | 41% | 68 |
| #4 | blu3 ONLY CRANE | 39% | 80 |
| #5 | PewPew Inna Babylon | 36% | 11 |
| #6 | skril | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PurPl3 | 35 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | blu3 ONLY CRANE | 11 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Iska | 9 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | skril | 4 | 0.0208 |
| #5 | ✞ JUU ✞ | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PurPl3 | 436 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #2 | blu3 ONLY CRANE | 158 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Iska | 70 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | ✞ JUU ✞ | 24 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | skril | 10 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PurPl3 | +2.19 | 76 | 56 |
| #2 | ✞ JUU ✞ | +1.89 | 61 | 57 |
| #3 | Iska | -0.62 | 55 | 32 |
| #4 | skril | -0.69 | 39 | 72 |
| #5 | LilMower | -0.71 | 58 | 57 |





