








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 312 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1675 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,205 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 422 | 13% |
| Smokes | 724 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1109 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 950 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $823,996 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ultrA | 45% | 22 |
| #3 | ✞ JUU ✞ | 45% | 33 |
| #4 | LilMower | 41% | 68 |
| #5 | PurPl3 | 36% | 115 |
| #6 | blu3 ONLY CRANE | 24% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PurPl3 | 24 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | LilMower | 9 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | blu3 ONLY CRANE | 6 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | ultrA | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | ✞ JUU ✞ | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PurPl3 | 304 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | LilMower | 227 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | blu3 ONLY CRANE | 100 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | ✞ JUU ✞ | 47 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | ultrA | 45 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PurPl3 | +2.14 | 76 | 60 |
| #2 | ✞ JUU ✞ | +1.16 | 63 | 62 |
| #3 | ultrA | -0.08 | 44 | 56 |
| #4 | Iska | -0.27 | 55 | 33 |
| #5 | LilMower | -1.59 | 57 | 56 |





