








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 528 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 243 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2626 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,364 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2610 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2028 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2188 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2538 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,648,507 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 175 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lemannen | 22 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | sHREDDAN | 8 | 0.0117 |
| #3 | SVGio | 6 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | NoL!fe | Reallynube | 5 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | Zimblitz | 3 | 0.0037 |





