










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
752 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,387 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1325 | 30% |
| Smokes | 507 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 1586 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 969 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $256,379 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | NoL!fe | Cubkeka | 31% | 13 |
| #8 | sHREDDAN | 29% | 7 |
| #9 | NoL!fe | Reallynube | 29% | 7 |
| #10 | U Woot M8 | 28% | 18 |
| #11 | Guess who? | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lemannen | 8 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | SniffenHS | 5 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | кеха | 2 | 0.0092 |
| #4 | Guess who? | 2 | 0.0093 |
| #5 | NoL!fe | Cubkeka | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lemannen | 292 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | SniffenHS | 87 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | sHREDDAN | 59 | 0.39 | 1 min |
| #4 | U Woot M8 | 41 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | NoL!fe | Reallynube | 37 | 0.23 | 1 min |





