








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 941 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 742 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 167 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5303 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,155 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4968 | 22% |
| Smokes | 7401 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4868 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4918 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,604,421 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1566 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Casio | 51% | 192 |
| #2 | NoL!fe | ✪IntenZe | 50% | 135 |
| #3 | Lemannen | 50% | 247 |
| #4 | U Woot M8 | 50% | 109 |
| #5 | NoL!fe | Reallynube | 49% | 1041 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | U Woot M8 | 50% | 109 |
| #5 | NoL!fe | Reallynube | 49% | 1041 |
| #6 | i pop the pain away | 48% | 337 |
| #7 | Shifty | 45% | 395 |
| #8 | Akz1 | 37% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i pop the pain away | 86 | 0.0122 |
| #2 | NoL!fe | Reallynube | 53 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Lemannen | 28 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | Shifty | 25 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | U Woot M8 | 11 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoL!fe | Reallynube | 6102 | 0.29 | 122 min |
| #2 | i pop the pain away | 1480 | 0.21 | 31 min |
| #3 | Lemannen | 1239 | 0.24 | 38 min |
| #4 | NoL!fe | ✪IntenZe | 568 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #5 | Shifty | 490 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoL!fe | Reallynube | +3.48 | 71 | 64 |
| #2 | Akz1 | +3.13 | 66 | 59 |
| #3 | NoL!fe | ✪IntenZe | +2.12 | 68 | 54 |
| #4 | i pop the pain away | +1.79 | 69 | 60 |
| #5 | Lemannen | +0.55 | 56 | 68 |





