








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2245 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 707 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12546 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 42,723 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 19458 | 46% |
| Smokes | 9602 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 9085 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4578 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,138,487 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1264 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Casio | 51% | 188 |
| #2 | Lemannen | 51% | 214 |
| #3 | U Woot M8 | 51% | 112 |
| #4 | NoL!fe | ✪IntenZe | 50% | 135 |
| #5 | i pop the pain away | 49% | 329 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | U Woot M8 | 51% | 112 |
| #4 | NoL!fe | ✪IntenZe | 50% | 135 |
| #5 | i pop the pain away | 49% | 329 |
| #6 | NoL!fe | Cubkeka | 49% | 1041 |
| #7 | Shifty | 45% | 360 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i pop the pain away | 79 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | Lemannen | 28 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Shifty | 24 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | NoL!fe | Cubkeka | 21 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | NoL!fe | ✪IntenZe | 10 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i pop the pain away | 1477 | 0.21 | 32 min |
| #2 | NoL!fe | Cubkeka | 1331 | 0.06 | 30 min |
| #3 | Lemannen | 1053 | 0.23 | 33 min |
| #4 | NoL!fe | ✪IntenZe | 568 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #5 | Shifty | 464 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoL!fe | Reallynube | +3.43 | 71 | 64 |
| #2 | NoL!fe | ✪IntenZe | +2.12 | 68 | 54 |
| #3 | i pop the pain away | +1.71 | 69 | 59 |
| #4 | Casio | +0.56 | 80 | 46 |
| #5 | Lemannen | +0.33 | 56 | 68 |





