








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 176 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 333 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2227 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,756 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2838 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3235 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2427 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2256 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,683,732 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pud | 48% | 196 |
| #2 | wag1 | 48% | 122 |
| #3 | Cob | 43% | 187 |
| #4 | Sorry | 43% | 108 |
| #5 | null | 37% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pud | 48% | 196 |
| #2 | wag1 | 48% | 122 |
| #3 | Cob | 43% | 187 |
| #4 | Sorry | 43% | 108 |
| #5 | null | 37% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cob | 70 | 0.0178 |
| #2 | Sorry | 46 | 0.0202 |
| #3 | pud | 36 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | wag1 | 23 | 0.0089 |
| #5 | null | 10 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cob | 426 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | pud | 360 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | wag1 | 358 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | Sorry | 235 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | null | 142 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wag1 | +4.32 | 89 | 51 |
| #2 | pud | +3.10 | 74 | 60 |
| #3 | Sorry | +0.47 | 67 | 53 |
| #4 | Cob | -0.04 | 59 | 46 |
| #5 | null | -1.83 | 69 | 42 |





