








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 453 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 381 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4576 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,510 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3221 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5528 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 3463 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2298 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,544,554 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 404 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wag1 | 49% | 125 |
| #2 | HabitualyNeutral | 48% | 196 |
| #3 | Sorry | 47% | 113 |
| #4 | Cob | 42% | 98 |
| #5 | null | 41% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wag1 | 49% | 125 |
| #2 | HabitualyNeutral | 48% | 196 |
| #3 | Sorry | 47% | 113 |
| #4 | Cob | 42% | 98 |
| #5 | null | 41% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sorry | 52 | 0.0220 |
| #2 | Cob | 40 | 0.0197 |
| #3 | wag1 | 21 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | null | 18 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | HabitualyNeutral | 11 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wag1 | 381 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | HabitualyNeutral | 365 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | Cob | 273 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | Sorry | 237 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | null | 200 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pud | +2.05 | 73 | 61 |
| #2 | wag1 | +0.94 | 86 | 51 |
| #3 | Sorry | +0.33 | 67 | 50 |
| #4 | Cob | -1.23 | 57 | 41 |
| #5 | null | -1.64 | 71 | 41 |





