








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 132 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 256 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




115 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3480 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,301 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1929 | 26% |
| Smokes | 911 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 2984 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 1477 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,518,424 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 174 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mars | 47% | 19 |
| #2 | wag1 | 47% | 116 |
| #3 | HabitualyNeutral | 43% | 187 |
| #4 | pud | 42% | 98 |
| #5 | Sorry | 41% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | wag1 | 47% | 116 |
| #3 | HabitualyNeutral | 43% | 187 |
| #4 | pud | 42% | 98 |
| #5 | Sorry | 41% | 145 |
| #6 | null | 39% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sorry | 67 | 0.0221 |
| #2 | wag1 | 29 | 0.0119 |
| #3 | pud | 21 | 0.0103 |
| #4 | null | 16 | 0.0073 |
| #5 | HabitualyNeutral | 15 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HabitualyNeutral | 373 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | wag1 | 338 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | Sorry | 282 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | null | 166 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | pud | 164 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wag1 | +3.65 | 90 | 48 |
| #2 | pud | +2.85 | 75 | 58 |
| #3 | Mars | +1.51 | 67 | 54 |
| #4 | Sorry | +0.52 | 70 | 47 |
| #5 | Cob | -0.58 | 60 | 45 |





