










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1706 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,008 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1157 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1783 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1728 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 340 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $396,747 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 387 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | wag1 | 43% | 47 |
| #3 | pud | 41% | 133 |
| #4 | Cob | 39% | 109 |
| #5 | Sorry | 38% | 132 |
| #6 | HabitualyNeutral | 37% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sorry | 63 | 0.0235 |
| #2 | Cob | 44 | 0.0202 |
| #3 | pud | 29 | 0.0105 |
| #4 | wag1 | 8 | 0.0080 |
| #5 | HabitualyNeutral | 6 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sorry | 266 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | Cob | 249 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | pud | 223 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | HabitualyNeutral | 152 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | wag1 | 145 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wag1 | +3.44 | 89 | 48 |
| #2 | pud | +2.37 | 75 | 59 |
| #3 | Sorry | +0.37 | 72 | 45 |
| #4 | null | -1.29 | 70 | 44 |
| #5 | Cob | -1.48 | 63 | 43 |





