








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 747 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 65 matches | ||
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6078 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,023 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5662 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5196 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4389 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3776 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,308,400 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 748 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zacatel | 62% | 37 |
| #2 | Arlind | 58% | 52 |
| #3 | Shadowww | 58% | 184 |
| #4 | 黝堊の祈り | 57% | 110 |
| #5 | snoozywes | 55% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pER | 22 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Shadowww | 14 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | snoozywes | 13 | 0.0128 |
| #4 | 黝堊の祈り | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | 𐂃𐂃MQHX | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pER | 648 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #2 | Shadowww | 399 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | 黝堊の祈り | 319 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | 0w0 | 193 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | 𐂃𐂃MQHX | 144 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 黝堊の祈り | +3.11 | 83 | 67 |
| #2 | 𐂃𐂃MQHX | +2.47 | 82 | 59 |
| #3 | r0ck | +1.46 | 63 | 72 |
| #4 | pER | +0.61 | 66 | 63 |
| #5 | snoozywes | +0.38 | 78 | 42 |





