








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 681 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 193 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 112 matches | ||
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




84 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5556 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,478 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4777 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4061 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6344 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 2296 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,158,347 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 822 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 黝堊の祈り | 59% | 184 |
| #2 | HeroYT | 58% | 62 |
| #3 | r0ck | 58% | 184 |
| #4 | Skellers | 56% | 45 |
| #5 | 𐂃𐂃MQHX | 55% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Arlind | 52% | 42 |
| #7 | Zacatel | 52% | 33 |
| #8 | Relos | 51% | 37 |
| #9 | AloisPressluftV3 | 45% | 101 |
| #10 | Mystery | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AloisPressluftV3 | 38 | 0.0187 |
| #2 | HeroYT | 25 | 0.0202 |
| #3 | 黝堊の祈り | 11 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Mystery | 9 | 0.0150 |
| #5 | r0ck | 7 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 黝堊の祈り | 564 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #2 | r0ck | 399 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #3 | 𐂃𐂃MQHX | 239 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | Skellers | 178 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | AloisPressluftV3 | 161 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 黝堊の祈り | +3.64 | 82 | 66 |
| #2 | HeroYT | +3.44 | 69 | 45 |
| #3 | 𐂃𐂃MQHX | +1.91 | 83 | 63 |
| #4 | Relos | +1.82 | 61 | 77 |
| #5 | r0ck | +1.18 | 66 | 72 |





