








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Wingman | 47 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2230 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,428 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1425 | 32% |
| Smokes | 221 | 5% |
| HE Grenades | 1693 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1089 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $228,279 of utility $42 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 203 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mahmoud Hussein Al Akra | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | ArtfulDodger | 68% | 25 |
| #3 | Quezillion | 68% | 28 |
| #4 | r0ck | 58% | 52 |
| #5 | 𐂃𐂃MQHX | 57% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Zacatel | 48% | 138 |
| #11 | Drip Drop | 44% | 55 |
| #12 | yosh! | 42% | 19 |
| #13 | Shadow Wizard Money Gang | 41% | 99 |
| #14 | OnetapOliver | 36% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shadow Wizard Money Gang | 27 | 0.0149 |
| #2 | Zacatel | 11 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | gekiai | 9 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | 黝堊の祈り | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | yosh! | 5 | 0.0132 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 黝堊の祈り | 320 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | Zacatel | 292 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | gekiai | 232 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #4 | Drip Drop | 134 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | r0ck | 128 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ArtfulDodger | +7.46 | 85 | 74 |
| #2 | gekiai | +7.35 | 82 | 67 |
| #3 | 黝堊の祈り | +5.96 | 84 | 66 |
| #4 | 𐂃𐂃MQHX | +4.12 | 86 | 59 |
| #5 | yosh! | +3.39 | 87 | 46 |





