








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 52 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2462 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,398 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 665 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1164 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 971 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 598 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,363,455 of utility $269 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | velundy | 63% | 40 |
| #2 | lIkIa | 54% | 37 |
| #3 | k4RLa | 51% | 193 |
| #4 | alex | 49% | 145 |
| #5 | natrixx | 48% | 152 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | lIkIa | 54% | 37 |
| #3 | k4RLa | 51% | 193 |
| #4 | alex | 49% | 145 |
| #5 | natrixx | 48% | 152 |
| #6 | kanki | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | natrixx | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | k4RLa | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | alex | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | kanki | 3 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alex | 327 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | k4RLa | 220 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #3 | natrixx | 214 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | velundy | 62 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | kanki | 61 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lIkIa | +2.22 | 84 | 39 |
| #2 | kanki | +1.64 | 78 | 78 |
| #3 | k4RLa | +0.24 | 66 | 55 |
| #4 | alex | +0.11 | 78 | 54 |
| #5 | natrixx | -0.31 | 75 | 63 |





