








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1265 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,369 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1771 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1328 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1349 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 921 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $323,766 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | motivated | 46% | 52 |
| #2 | Pornald Hubbard | 44% | 18 |
| #3 | fran♡ | 44% | 18 |
| #4 | canadianninja4 | 43% | 89 |
| #5 | Chad Thundercock | 43% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Chad Thundercock | 43% | 80 |
| #6 | squideum | 41% | 29 |
| #7 | Demon King Von | 39% | 28 |
| #8 | Lee Harvey AWPswald | 35% | 26 |
| #9 | scoutie | 33% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chad Thundercock | 35 | 0.0232 |
| #2 | scoutie | 19 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | Demon King Von | 18 | 0.0344 |
| #4 | canadianninja4 | 11 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | Lee Harvey AWPswald | 11 | 0.0217 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chad Thundercock | 71 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #2 | scoutie | 64 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | Demon King Von | 36 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Lee Harvey AWPswald | 25 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | motivated | 20 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oi vey | +1.70 | 48 | 54 |
| #2 | Chad Thundercock | +0.36 | 25 | 42 |
| #3 | Demon King Von | -0.13 | 16 | 27 |
| #4 | Lee Harvey AWPswald | -0.96 | 58 | 26 |
| #5 | motivated | -1.03 | 32 | 12 |





