








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1383 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,447 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 246 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1326 | 54% |
| HE Grenades | 663 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 212 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $176,590 of utility $35 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 106 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rambo | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | Demon King Von | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | fran♡ | 44% | 27 |
| #4 | motivated | 43% | 37 |
| #5 | canadianninja4 | 41% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Lee Harvey AWPswald | 35% | 20 |
| #8 | gold plated marlboro cigarette | 33% | 18 |
| #9 | oi vey | 33% | 95 |
| #10 | squideum | 27% | 51 |
| #11 | lovesick | 21% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chad Thundercock | 88 | 0.0261 |
| #2 | oi vey | 18 | 0.0096 |
| #3 | canadianninja4 | 16 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | Demon King Von | 12 | 0.0324 |
| #5 | squideum | 9 | 0.0091 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oi vey | 199 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | Chad Thundercock | 186 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | canadianninja4 | 29 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| #4 | Demon King Von | 20 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Rambo | 20 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rambo | +11.42 | 90 | 30 |
| #2 | gold plated marlboro cigarette | +1.42 | 46 | 22 |
| #3 | Demon King Von | +1.32 | 16 | 33 |
| #4 | oi vey | +1.14 | 47 | 52 |
| #5 | Chad Thundercock | +0.47 | 26 | 38 |





