








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 109 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2152 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,290 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 961 | 29% |
| Smokes | 753 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1068 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 508 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $464,135 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | CS2 Limited Playtester | 48% | 58 |
| #7 | Nancy Pelosi's Enlarged Labia | 48% | 23 |
| #8 | Chief Keef's strapon | 47% | 32 |
| #9 | emu = sumairu!!!!! | 42% | 45 |
| #10 | They call me the sandwich | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | // #RARE# ∞ WAVE // | 25 | 0.0141 |
| #2 | CS2 Limited Playtester | 22 | 0.0188 |
| #3 | emu = sumairu!!!!! | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Chief Keef's strapon | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Nancy Pelosi's Enlarged Labia | 3 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | // #RARE# ∞ WAVE // | 362 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #2 | CS2 Limited Playtester | 250 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #3 | Sentimental | 102 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #4 | emu = sumairu!!!!! | 79 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Chief Keef's strapon | 53 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karına | +1.59 | 69 | 47 |
| #2 | Pootrick | +1.16 | 50 | 35 |
| #3 | They call me the sandwich | +0.90 | 74 | 49 |
| #4 | Nancy Pelosi's Enlarged Labia | +0.84 | 81 | 42 |
| #5 | // #RARE# ∞ WAVE // | +0.82 | 54 | 52 |





