








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
525 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,721 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 278 | 16% |
| Smokes | 584 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 339 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 520 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $167,272 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 135 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sentimental | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | CS2 Limited Playtester | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | // #RARE# ∞ WAVE // | 51% | 39 |
| #4 | Karına | 48% | 23 |
| #5 | Chief Keef's strapon | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | // #RARE# ∞ WAVE // | 4 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | emu = sumairu!!!!! | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Chief Keef's strapon | 1 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | CS2 Limited Playtester | 1 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | Sentimental | 1 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | // #RARE# ∞ WAVE // | 60 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | emu = sumairu!!!!! | 41 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Chief Keef's strapon | 28 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #4 | CS2 Limited Playtester | 26 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Karına | 26 | 0.36 | 1 min |





