








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
46 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 467 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 110 | 24% |
| Smokes | 57 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 143 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 157 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $75,978 of utility $227 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Silentway_ | 30% | 10 |
| #6 | C0okieDance | 29% | 7 |
| #7 | ✪ RealCyron | 25% | 4 |
| #8 | Tobias | AMC2000 | 23% | 13 |
| #9 | spa1teN | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tobias | AMC2000 | 1 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | C0okieDance | 1 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | spa1teN | 1 | 0.0108 |





