








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 70 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 92 matches | ||
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1780 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,329 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 927 | 13% |
| Smokes | 983 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 3693 | 50% |
| Molotovs | 1726 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $727,667 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 150 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥♥Sauucey♥♥ | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | Ext1ncT | 52% | 188 |
| #3 | Stoxzy | 50% | 210 |
| #4 | ✖ f0R3ST ✖ | 47% | 75 |
| #5 | Chicago spy | 46% | 205 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Ext1ncT | 52% | 188 |
| #3 | Stoxzy | 50% | 210 |
| #4 | ✖ f0R3ST ✖ | 47% | 75 |
| #5 | Chicago spy | 46% | 205 |
| #6 | Nippe | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chicago spy | 39 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | Stoxzy | 30 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | ✖ f0R3ST ✖ | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | ♥♥Sauucey♥♥ | 3 | 0.0096 |
| #5 | Nippe | 2 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stoxzy | 235 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #2 | Chicago spy | 220 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #3 | ✖ f0R3ST ✖ | 199 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | Ext1ncT | 43 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| #5 | ♥♥Sauucey♥♥ | 25 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stoxzy | +4.66 | 88 | 59 |
| #2 | Ext1ncT | +3.88 | 94 | 23 |
| #3 | ♥♥Sauucey♥♥ | +3.41 | 91 | 53 |
| #4 | ✖ f0R3ST ✖ | +2.33 | 74 | 71 |
| #5 | Nippe | -0.07 | 55 | 18 |





