








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 87 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1691 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,223 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1769 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2121 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 832 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1501 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $410,781 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 170 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stoxzy | 16 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | NemoTheBloop | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Chicago spy | 5 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | Nippe | 3 | 0.0098 |
| #5 | Ext1ncT | 2 | 0.0006 |





