








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 68 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1429 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,201 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 630 | 20% |
| Smokes | 824 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 771 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 976 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $796,230 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 214 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥♥Sauucey♥♥ | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | Ext1ncT | 48% | 163 |
| #3 | Stoxzy | 48% | 172 |
| #4 | Nippe | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | NemoTheBloop | 46% | 205 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Ext1ncT | 48% | 163 |
| #3 | Stoxzy | 48% | 172 |
| #4 | Nippe | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | NemoTheBloop | 46% | 205 |
| #6 | ✖ f0R3ST ✖ | 39% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stoxzy | 29 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | NemoTheBloop | 21 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | ♥♥Sauucey♥♥ | 4 | 0.0167 |
| #4 | Ext1ncT | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | ✖ f0R3ST ✖ | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NemoTheBloop | 216 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #2 | Stoxzy | 211 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | ✖ f0R3ST ✖ | 111 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Ext1ncT | 43 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| #5 | ♥♥Sauucey♥♥ | 23 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stoxzy | +5.09 | 87 | 59 |
| #2 | ♥♥Sauucey♥♥ | +3.65 | 91 | 53 |
| #3 | Ext1ncT | +3.64 | 95 | 26 |
| #4 | ✖ f0R3ST ✖ | +3.25 | 79 | 70 |
| #5 | Nippe | +1.27 | 59 | 19 |





